When Things Go Sideways
by Micaiah
Summary: Tag to 10.06, Ask Jeeves. Dean can't sleep and neither can Sam after what happens with the shapeshifter. Angsty boys.


**Tag to 10.06, Ask Jeeves.**

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><p>"<em>If things go sideways, I mean, like an inch, you gotta give me the heads up."—Sam, Paper Moon<em>

Dean had been tossing and turning for a couple of hours. With a frustrated sigh, he pushed himself up from the bed and headed to the kitchen. It was obvious he wasn't getting any sleep tonight…..too many thoughts whirling around in his head, mostly involving the Mark of Cain which still resided on his arm. Might as well make use of the time and do some research but first, a pot of coffee was in order.

In the kitchen, Dean found the coffee maker was already dripping fresh coffee, which meant Sam was also awake and probably just as worried as he was about what had happened in Connecticut. More than likely, Sam was in the library, knee deep in research, all because of him. He wished he could make Sam believe there was nothing to worry about but his attempt on the way home had done absolutely no good. He hadn't even convinced himself. The dark truth of the matter…..he was just as freaked as Sam but he couldn't let Sam know that. He had to figure this out before things got out of control and he didn't want Sam to worry any more than he already was. He'd put the kid through hell with all that had happened when he became a demon. He didn't want to be any more of a burden to him than he already had been.

Sam's shaggy head was bent over his laptop and Dean stood watching his brother for a moment. Sam's arm had finally healed and they'd been taking some time to rest but Dean wasn't sure if Sam had really done any resting. He'd been too busy hovering over him, asking him if he was okay and tiptoeing around the Mark of Cain issue, trying to gauge exactly how his older brother was feeling. Dean appreciated Sam's efforts but it wasn't fair to Sam. He shouldn't have to worry about the Mark. This was all Dean's doing and he needed to be the one to take care of it.

Sam must have felt his brother's presence because he glanced up at him and Dean felt a twinge of guilt at the haunted look in Sam's eyes. They hadn't talked the rest of the way home. Dean had kept the radio volume at a level which assured Sam couldn't question him but Sam's face said everything he hadn't been allowed to express on the long ride back to the bunker. He jumped up from the table and crossed the room in three long strides. Dean braced himself for the punch he felt was coming. He wasn't going to stop it. He deserved it and a few more but, instead of a punch to the face, Sam reached out and pulled him into a tight embrace. Dean hesitated for only a moment and then returned the hug.

"Sammy, are you okay?"

Sam's only response was to grip his brother tighter. Dean knew he should be alarmed but he allowed himself a moment of comfort….just one moment of feeling completely safe, feeling as if the world couldn't hurt him, the Mark wasn't really there and even if it was, Sammy wouldn't let it take him….he wouldn't let the darkness have his brother. Dean closed his eyes and relished the feeling before swallowing hard against his own fear and addressing his brother's.

"Sam, you're scaring me." Dean felt his brother tremble. "Dude, you're shaking."

Sam took a deep breath before finally releasing him. He held Dean at arm's length, his eyes brimming with all the pain he'd endured the past few months. "I can't lose you again, Dean. I just can't."

"You're not going to lose me, Sammy."

"Don't lie to me, Dean." Sam moved away from him and Dean could see the weariness in the set of his brother's shoulders. He knew that weight. He'd felt it since he was four years old. His Dad had put it there and now Dean had put that kind of weight on his brother and he hated himself for it. It was Dean's job to take care of Sam, not the other way around but Dean didn't know how to protect his brother anymore. Every time he tried, he only ended up hurting him.

"Sammy….."

"You promised you'd tell me if things started going sideways."

_But who's going to tell me when things start going sideways with you, Sammy?_

That was why he couldn't let Sam know how freaked he was. He couldn't tell Sam that he really didn't know if he'd been over anxious about the shapeshifter kill or if the Mark was slowly consuming him again. Dean had seen what lengths Sam had been willing to go to in order to save him from being a demon. He had to assure Sam he was okay and somehow make it so.

"Sammy, I'm fine, okay?"

"Then why aren't you asleep?"

Dean shrugged. "Just a little over adrenalized because of all the time off. Remind me to never take another vacation."

Dean gave his brother a grin but Sam didn't return the favor. He wasn't buying into Dean's crap and wasn't going to placate his brother by pretending he did. Sam returned to his laptop and Dean made his way down the hall to the kitchen, pouring two cups of coffee and carrying them back to the library. He set one in front of his brother and peered over Sam's shoulder. The Google search page was showing results for the Mark of Cain. Sam wrapped his long fingers around the warm cup of coffee and glanced up at him. Dean squeezed his brother's shoulder. "I'm going to take care of this, Sammy. I promise."

"I know, Dean. But when are you going to realize you don't have to do it alone?"

"The same time you realize it's my job to protect you."

Sam finally gave him the smile he'd been searching for. "So, basically, never?"

Dean grinned. "Sounds about right."

Sam continued clicking on search results as he softly said, "I'm not losing you again, Dean. I don't care what it takes."

"I know, Sammy."

_That's why I have to take care of this…..before you do something you'll regret…before you lose the part of you that makes you Sammy. I can't lose you either, Sammy. I won't. And I don't care what it takes._

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Comments are always welcome and greatly appreciated! :)<strong>


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